


Kiss Me, Kill Me

by aroashton



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, F/M, M/M, Past Character Death, Sick Character, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroashton/pseuds/aroashton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a post-apocalyptic world where everyone is struggling to survive, Ava finds herself given shelter at the hands of the same people who ruined her life to begin with. That’s when she meets Anna, the current leader of one of the city sectors for the rebels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only Losers Get Caught

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idiotslantern](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotslantern/gifts).



Sector D is the smoothest running since the power went out, since the world went  _dark_. The city didn't take long before the leading government fell apart and rebels took over, new leaders looking towards a future without power. People broke into groups, people who sided with the rebels, people who continued to believe in the true government, people who sided with no one and wanted to live peacefully without conflict, and those who were rogue individuals. 

Years went by and food supplies began dwindling. New sources had to be created, had to be grown. It was illegal in the walled up cities to grow food privately. It was only acceptable if one had the right permits. Inevitably, people were seen more for their worth in intellect and strength as opposed to those who loved them. Those who had no value were tossed, cast out of the city and beyond the walls that guarded the different sectors of the city. One couldn't get back in the city without a pass, without proper paperwork. If one was to try, they were either killed on the spot, or taken to the sector leader for punishment.

It was the idea of food that prompted Ava to try and break in that night. She knew how to do it, she had been schooled on how to do it by Andy. They'd been friends since they were kids, they'd grown up through the darkness together. It was only when they were twelve that their parents were slaughtered in front of them, as well as the rest of the people in the village they'd been living in. It had been a miracle they'd gotten out alive. It was something she tried not to think about too much, more so because Andy had only just been killed a week ago in a mugging.

_A mugging of all things_.

Having her best friend die in her arms was painful enough. She could handle breaking into this stupid, walled up prison of a city. She'd be taught how to do it. How many years had she spent watching Andy do his thing and learning from everything he did? How long had it been for her, watching him smooth talk his way out of the most preposterous situations? All she had to do was break open the gate to the sewer - a system that didn't even work. The only thing it provided her with was a way into the city. It did nothing for anybody else. The sewer systems barely emptied the water out of the cities anymore. Every rainfall that happened was a win-lose situation; great for the water, terrible for the city. But she could handle this. She could handle making her way through the old sewers and into the city. She could do this.

Or so she thought.

The sewer entrance was right there, locked up. Ava's lock picking kit was out and she was working on it silently, keeping an ear out for anybody out on watch. It was too easy to get caught by guardsmen when it came to the cities these days. Security was tight and... two bright lights shone down on her and she threw a hand up to shield her eyes, accidentally dropping her kit. She cursed under her breath, trying to make out the figures behind the gleam of light, but she couldn't. To be honest, she was more focused on the  _flashlight_. How many batteries did they have left? Did they have any batteries on them? Oh, those would sell out in the world for a pretty penny. She could feed herself for days if she could get a hold of some batteries.

A woman with an accent she didn't recognize spoke up first, "Whatcha doin' down there?" The other woman with her elbowed her and she... she chuckled? "Sorry, right, right. I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with us, friend." Was the woman joking with her, or making a joke in general? The guardsmen she knew, they weren't like that. They were brutal and looked for any excuse to harm other people - but she was more angry with herself for having not heard them approach her. How could she have been so stupid? Andy would be rolling over in his grave right now.

The other woman stepped down and now Ava could make out their rebel uniforms. She rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on, it's a  _sewer_. I was just looking for shelter from the incoming storm." Even though it was a lie, it was also true. Yes, it was nighttime and there was no rain, but Ava could smell it. She could hear it in the trees. Having lived in the shadows for so long, just her and Andy, they'd picked up on nature's tricks. Even though she'd be getting dirty in the sewer, it would at least keep her out of the storm that was headed this way. But now she'd been caught, which was so much worse than a dumb storm.

"Tell that to our superior," this one's voice was thicker, more demanding. She grabbed Ava's arm in a firm grip and pulled her up and away from the sewer grate. Ava tugged at the grip on her arm, frowning. She'd been careless, unfocused. How could she have not heard them coming? There was no use in trying to run. Between the grip on her arm, and the other woman standing nearby, Ava knew she didn't have a chance. Sure, she could fight her way through someone if she had to - but she didn't like to fight. She didn't like what it did to people, how it changed them. Besides, if this meant bringing her into the city, it meant sheltering her from the storm for the time being and she could handle that.

 

* * *

  

The walk was longer than it needed to be. They could have easily had a horse take them back, but no, they made her walk. The blonde officer seemed sympathetic enough. Ava could do without the constant talk of what she was going to eat for breakfast though. Her stomach was growling something fierce and she was terrified she was going to pass out. She was starting to see spots. All this persistent talk of food was making her queasy and causing her to nearly trip over her feet. If she had, she wouldn't have been able to save herself. There were silver cuffs around her wrists, and they'd taken her lock picking kit - or at least the brunette woman had. Ava didn't really like her. She preferred the blonde woman (when she wasn't talking about food).

Through the city, Ava started to notice things, things she'd normally not pay much mind to. It was just like outside these walls. Everything was overgrown. No one seemed to maintain the way the vines grew up the walls of crumbling buildings, or homes people had put together themselves. The cracks in the walls were invaded with new plant life, disturbed with dirt and other pieces of nature. She almost felt bad for the architecture of the city, wondering what it looked like before the power went out. How it might have prospered - if it even had.

She was guided through one of the sectors. Ava knew how these things worked, knew how the cities worked. She watched as the two women she was under presented their paperwork at each checkpoint, then they continued on. She didn't quite know how she'd get out of this one - unless it was through death (or a miracle). She nearly sighed, her stomach tightening as they walked. All she wanted was something to eat. At this point, she was willing to eat dirt -  _again_. What? She'd done it before, not that she'd ever talk about it or admit to doing it. But it was something that had happened once (or twice, she couldn't remember).

Finally, they arrived at some gate. The blonde woman - her name was Donna, Ava had overheard the two talking and had just barely caught her name - nodded to the other woman, "I'll be manning my usual post now." The brunette said thanks and tightened her grip on Ava's arm. The arm grip was unnecessary, just incredibly unnecessary. She wasn't going anywhere, not when they were in the city and she was under 24/7 rebel guard watch. She'd never been caught or arrested before anyway, that was always Andy. Lying and smooth talking his way out of situations. It's just too bad he couldn't get himself out of that stupid mugging.  _A mugging_.

The building was old, just like everything else. And just like everything else, it was overgrown with weeds, but it seemed to be more maintained compared to other ones. By the stairwell, there was a large pool of water. Ava assumed that happened because of a leak. Or they just randomly wanted a pool of water there to look like a bunch of snobbish rebel idiots. She scoffed to herself silently, amused with her own sense of humour. Either way, the pool of water was nice, and it looked clean. She wished she could have stopped to have a drink from it.

Ava was lead up two sets of stairwells. People didn't seem to bother looking at her. It was like they'd seen this routine before. Well, it was because they had. Ava knew exactly what was going to happen. She had heard the rumours of what happened to people like her in the cities like this. She was going to walk through those big, white double doors and whoever was on the other side? They'd ask her if she was guilty of the crime she was accused of committing. She'd say yes, maybe beg and plead for her life to add to the dramatics. And then that would be it. She'd be taken away to be slaughtered like the rest of the pigs, because that's what the rebels did to people like her, or to people in general.

Maybe that's what she _wanted_.

Suddenly, the brunette guard is shoving her through those double doors, causing Ava to whack her shoulder. She groans from the impact, stumbling into the room. She glances back at the door, before quickly scanning the room. There's a fire going on side of the room, close to a large desk. No one's near it. She keeps looking around, but sees nothing. Everything is dark and dimly it, a room only lit by the fire. For a second, Ava thinks she's been put into an empty room for safe keeping. She lets out a small sigh of relief, stepping more into the room and rubbing her aching shoulder. Why did that woman have to be so rough?

Then the door slams shut behind her. Ava jumps and spins around, instinctively stepping back away from it. There's a woman standing there. She can just barely make her out courtesy of the fire's glow. She's holding a broadsword. Ava swallows hard, eying the sword more than the red headed woman holding it. This is it. She's going to be killed right here. She closes her eyes, lowering her hands away from her chest and down to her waist, feeling the tip of the sword pressing against her neck. 

"Why here?"

Ava's quiet for a moment, before she registers what's been asked. She opens her eyes, head tilted back, looking at the woman, "Pardon me?" What the hell does that matter 'why here'? Isn't the whole point of this to punish her for what she did, not ask her  _why_? Especially in this stupid society? That's like asking a kid why he stole a loaf of bread from the food stand.

"What does this city offer for you that no other doesn't?" the red head's voice was soft, almost calming. Ava was grateful for her tone, "We have the highest cases of things that might as well be the black plague. Why would you want to be here?" So that's why she was asking. "You'd be safer out in the wilderness, yet you chose to try and break in here," then her tone turned dark, "Tell me why I shouldn't just slit your throat right here and now for being so careless with your life."

Ava closed her eyes again, thinking of Andy. He was her reason for everything. He pushed her when she couldn't push herself anymore. He kept her going, kept her motivated. And now her reason, her motivation? It was gone, killed right before her, and she'd done nothing to stop it. That's all she could think about it as she stood there, trying to think of the answer to this woman's question. Her expression fell flat and her tone was dry, "Kill me."

Maybe it was the woman's tone, maybe it was the way her body seemed to slump toward her sword when she asked her final question... but Anna couldn't find it in herself to kill this woman. She just about sighed, lowering her sword, her head tilted up just the slightest, "No." She wasn't going to kill someone who  _wanted_ to die.

The woman immediately looked offended, almost insulted, "What, why not? You make me walk all this way to punish me for breaking in and you don't even do it?"

Anna rolled her eyes and walked over to the desk, setting the broadsword down along it. Turning, she leaned against the desk, facing the confused woman, "You  _want_ me to kill you. I'm not really a fan of euthanasia. But in the meantime, while you're living and breaking the dead air in  _my_ sector of  _my_ city, you can call me Anna." She'd make sure to make good use of this woman somehow.

The woman also, in turn, rolled her eyes, about to cross her arms over her chest before remembering they'd shackled, "How do you know I'm not just going to kill you for not killing me?"

"You've had multiple opportunities to do so," Anna grabbed a key off the desk, moving back over to the woman, "And when I lowered my weapon, you didn't make a move for it, or even bat an eye at it." She grabs the woman's wrists and uses the key to remove the cuffs, "Now, are you going to tell me your name?" she leans in close, "Or do I have to kill you for that?"

Ava blinked, more than necessary, swallowing a little nervously, rubbing at her wrists, "Ava. Ava Wilson."

 

* * *

 

Jody whined as she found Donna, returning to her post next to her partner. She hated this. Every time they caught someone trying to break in, it was  _always_ fun, but then it was ruined when she remembered Anna was just going to let them go. Yeah, she wanted people to be given a fair chance. But Anna let  _everyone_ go. She believed in one hundred percent second chances and all that junk. She never understood how that woman got to be a rebel leader. But she sure as all respected her and even looked up to her. Yeah, they may not see eye to eye on things, but she knew Anna knew what she was doing. And Jody would stand by her.

Donna looked at Jody, munching on a carrot, "Y' shouldn't complain so much, y' know. It's not  _so_ bad. It's actually quite great." Jody gave her a bit of a side glare, but she was smiling at the same time. She appreciated Donna more than she'd ever know. They'd become such close friends. If there was anyone she was ever to be paired with, this was the woman. God forbid she be paired with a guy like Gavin. He just flirted his way through his shifts and cared more about his next lay than his actual job at hand. She didn't have to worry about that with Donna.

No, Donna  _was_ her lay.

"I know it isn't that bad, but it still frustrates me. If I was in that position-"

"Well you're not, so quit your complaining and just be happy she's a good person. We could be stuck with some big huffy, don'tcha know," Donna nudged Jody, causing her to smile again. She was such a light in these times for her, "We could be stuck in a sector with someone like  _Meg_." Jody looked almost mortified at the mere thought of that. Meg was so problematic. Could that woman even be defined as a rebel when she acted more of her own free will with her brother?

"I hate you."

"I know," Donna just wanted Jody to be happy. She hated seeing her bummed out or upset about anything. So, in return for how Jody made her feel, she did her best to keep a smile on her face. Besides, that face did look gorgeous with a smile on it. And everything in this world was already dark and depressing as it was. They deserved to have a reason for happiness once in a while, even if it was only a little bit. Just like Donna found happiness in her food - which Jody seems to find adorable. Unlike her last boyfriend, what a prick.

 

* * *

 

 

"Quadrant F. That's where you're staying. Quadrant F, Building E, Room 217.  _Do you understand?_ "

Ava stared at the garbage bag full of clothes she'd been given, as well as the key to her new place. She actually had a  _home_? She hadn't had a home in years. Since she was a kid, before their town had been raided. That was when her parents had been killed, and her and Andy had lost everything. She gripped the garbage bag a little tighter, trying to be grateful, looking at the guy in uniform before her. Gavin was his name? It was printed on his uniform, "Quadrant schmaudrant. I get it. Just let me get going." She wanted to get away from these people, away from the people who were doing nothing but going against everything she'd been taught, everything she knew.

Gavin sneered, "You also still require a job, and until you acquire such, you are  _forbidden_ from leaving this sector. Under no circumstances may you leave this sector, unless the alarm sounds."

Ava quirked a brow, "Like... a fire alarm?"

He narrowed his eyes. Was she being coy, or did she really not know what the hell he was talking about? Either way, he found it cute, "You'll know it when you hear it. I believe it used to be a siren for tornados, or poor weather back when the power was on?" He wasn't entirely sure, that was before his time. His history on all that was kind of rough. Besides, the people he was interested in didn't care about 'tornado sirens'. They cared about other high points of his job - like the latest kill, the latest capture, or what he was being sent out to do next for Anna. Those were the 'stories' that got him somewhere with people.

"Right. Whatever. Don't leave the city unless all hell breaks loose, got it. Now, can I fuck off?" Gavin just nodded, watched as she turned and walked away. She looked good in the jeans she was wearing. And if Anna wasn't such a goody goody, he would have tried to buy Ava from her. He'd heard that they started doing that a couple cities over. People buying people. He thought it was both atrocious and funny. He would never actually do it though. Who knew what diseases people were carrying these days. Lord, who knew what diseases  _he_ was carrying these days.

It was raining when Ava got outside and she wanted to scream. She had started all this with the intention of stealing some god damn food, and she wound up in a walled up city. A stupid prison. She should be grateful, but she's not. And that stupid Anna woman! Who the hell does she think is? She kicked at the ground like an angry child as she walked. This was stupid and pointless. She'd just get banished from this city like the last. She'd been told before she had no worth. What made this time any different? What could Anna had seen inside that dimly lit room that all those other people before her hadn't?  _She had no worth_.

Which wasn't true.

Ava was a tinkerer. She could pull something apart she'd never touched before, then put it back together again and make it better than it was before. She had the 'magic touch' as Andy used to say. But she never shared that with people. The only time she had, they wanted her to make weapons. She'd barely gotten out of that situation alive, and she'd nearly gotten Andy killed in the process. He should have died then, it would have been quicker. Dying at the hands of rogue individuals like that... she knew it would have been a better death. Not bleeding out slowly in the arms of your best friend.

When she gets to the place, it's some old building - older than everything else. It looks like it belongs in a... what did old people call them? A museum? She sighed and headed inside, going up to her room. Surprise, the door's already open. She goes inside and much to her surprise, there's a bed and a dresser with half the drawers. The walls are rotting and she could probably start her own vineyard at this rate with the grapes along the wall (at least no one hand touched them). She made a mental note to bag those grapes and hide them from surprise 'inspections' from the guard.

Ava tosses the bag of clothes in the corner. She'll put them away, maybe, in the morning after she's slept. She locks the door, shoving the crappy chair up and under the doorknob, then promptly flops down on the bed, not caring about her wet clothes. They can wait until tomorrow. She closes her eyes, drifting off to sleep quicker than she thought she would. The sound of the rain against the broken window is calming as falls asleep, feeling comfortable for the first time in a while. They might be rebels, but this wasn't so bad. Maybe.


	2. Thievery Almost Always Means Death

It was the middle of the night, and as fascinating as the onslaught of drunken assholes were in her district, Meg wasn't interested tonight. She was working on other things with her brother, Tom. The candles on the desk were burning out because of the wet wax and she was getting pissed off, telling her little puppies, her little soldiers of the new world, to get her better ones. Tom was looking at the map, eying what Meg desired most, what she wanted next. Chaos was in order, chaos was what they needed. In order to get that, they needed to bring down that cozy little shit hole Anna had managed to wrangle herself up. Meg didn't quite get what was so special about her sector anyway. Her whole 'second chance' bull shit didn't seem to do much for anyone.

"With the help we're getting from the inside," Tom started.

"Oh, because that is  _so_ helpful. The only thing that kid is good for, for  _you_ , is a good fuck," Tom looked  _almost_ offended, "Other than that, he's proven to be absolutely useless to me. He's gotten us nowhere closer to our goal," she noticed the look on his face, "What? Am I wrong?"

"No."

"Then shut up about your little fuckboy and actually  _help me_ ," Meg yawned, stretching her arms above her head. Truthfully, she was jealous of her brother's devious little happening. There was a part of her that was happy for him, considering Tom's an uptight asshole who needs to cut back once in a while. But the other part of her looked forward to the look on Anna's face when she found out one of her most trusted guardsmen was sleeping with  _her_ brother. Not just any guy from this sector, but her god damn brother. Oh, she was sure there'd be no second chances then. Anna would kill that little shit and Meg would enjoy the blood being spilled that day.

There was a knock on the door, interrupting Meg's thoughts of blood and ruin and she groaned, " _What_?" she looked over at the door as it opened and a young boy stuck his head in. Oh, it was just Jesse. His parents had been killed in a bombing about a year and a half ago and Meg had been 'convinced' by Anna to take him in. He had actually proven himself to be useful, not that she exploited it much. She might be cold and ruthless, but she had - maybe - a bit of a soft spot for the kids in this place. Hey, she was a kid once. She remembered growing up in this awful hell hole with Tom, with Azazel trying to be a father and run the city at the same time. It was horrible. 

"I just wanted you to know I did what you said," Jesse said, his voice soft. 

Meg raised an eyebrow, turning more to face him, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm guessing you have something to report."

Jesse nodded, "She brought someone in from the outside and it looks as though they're here to stay now."

Meg's teeth ran over her bottom lip and Tom caught the look she was giving. He looked at Jesse, "That'll be all Jesse, thank you for helping, you can go. I'm sure there's something extra downstairs waiting for you to take home to eat." Jesse smiled at the thought and left the room. Once he was out of the room, Tom stepped over to Meg, unsure if he should touch her or not. He could tell she was angry. He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, "Meg..."

The second Tom's hand touched her, Meg shrieked. She turned towards the desk and knocked what she could off that wasn't candles, before kicking a hole in the desk. She stood there momentarily, her foot stuck. She grimaced, ripping her foot free. She could feel the small cuts in her leg, but ignored them. Her eyes met with Tom's, Tom who had backed away from her, and she scoffed, "She thinks she can run this place however she wants because she's so high and mighty and ' _Oh look at me, I'm a pretty princess who's nice to everyone_ '," Meg laughed, "She's got it all wrong. She keeps telling us we have to stop taking in strays because of the sick, stop killing everyone who has done something wrong, be more strict here, do this here, do that there. But she's breaking all her own rules right in our own backyard! And what? She thinks we won't notice?"

Tom didn't know what to say, he just knew where this would lead. No matter what happened, he would be behind Meg. He always was. She was his baby sister and he had promised their father before he died he'd take care of her. Besides, she was always better at these decisions... though, lately it seemed like he was the more rational one. Even if he was more violent, it seemed like he was still more rational. It was confusing for him. He also didn't like how Meg used Jesse. He was just a kid and she was putting his life at risk sending him out like that to spy on Anna and see what she was up to. He was to ever get caught and not have any papers on him... if he didn't get caught by the right guard, he'd be killed, or worse. He didn't know what he'd do if Meg got worse. Though, with what she was planning, what  _they_ were planning, things already were worse.

 

* * *

 

By the time morning arrived, the sun was blaring through the small (and broken) window. Ava was awake and munching on some of those grapes that had been growing off her wall. They didn't taste the best, but for someone who wasn't used to having food right there when she needed it, it was nice. She had peeled out of her wet clothes, allowing herself to just sit in a white tank top and clean underwear. Dear god had it been so long since she'd had a proper pair of clean underwear. The only thing left to fix was her hair. She hadn't dared to go near the shared bathroom in the hallway yet. The noises that had been coming from out there... no, she'd pass for a little while longer.

Anna had given her a book, some piece of fiction by Gabriel García Márquez; One Hundred Years of Solitude. She was already about fifty pages into it and didn't mind it at all. It was definitely something to pass the time, seeing how she didn't have a job. Whatshisface had told her that was something that would have to be figured out, didn't he? Every other place she had lived in had always deemed her useless, which ended with her being cast out of the city. 

She needed something to do, something more entertaining than sitting in a room, reading, and sulking.

Ava got up, grabbed some ripped up black t-shirt that had been in the bag, and pulled it on. It would have to do. She then snagged some jeans and tugged them on, hiding the scar along her thigh. It had happened the night of the raid, she didn't like to talk about it. When her parents had been killed in front of her - but not before torturing her and Andy a little. She buried the thought, focusing on the fact that the jeans were a little tight, but they'd work. She grabbed the piece of wood she'd broken off the rotting wall earlier (turning it into a small, pointed weapon - almost like a stake) and shoved it into the back of her jeans, covering it with her shirt. Next came the jacket. Thank god there was one. She tugged on her boots and headed out the door. 

The city, or sector, or quadrant...  _whatever_. It seemed more lively during the day. There were people out selling things on stands, people who would require permits to do such a thing. She can only imagine the type of hell they went through to get them. And the hell that followed to keep the stands running. These people probably had to give over some of their food and items to the guardsmen, to the rebels. It irked her in so many ways. How could people stand to live like this? There were a few bread stands and she could smell it, her stomach growling as she walked by. She was almost certain someone could hear her.

The city might be overgrown and barely liveable, but here people were selling food like nothing had happened; living like nothing was wrong. The sick were in the alleys, hiding themselves from the public eye. She felt sorry for them, wishing she could help them somehow. She remembered Anna bringing up the sickness that plagued this place, how Ava would be better off outside these walls. If that was true, then why keep her inside them? She was so confused, and felt so betrayed by her comfort brought on by the rebel kindness and generosity. When Anna had lowered her weapon... she could have sprung on her and taken her out. There was no one there to stop her, but she hadn't. She never did anything. That's just who she was, and apparently always who she would be. The person who stood by and did nothing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I promise!"

Ava looked around when she heard the shouting.

"I  _swear_ I'll never do it again! It was just this one time! I'm really sorry!"

There was a young girl being forcefully pulled away by a rebel guard. The rebel officer was holding a loaf of bread. She quickly put two and two together (and briefly felt like she was reading a sad story by Victor Hugo), "Thievery is thievery and you'll answer for the crimes you've committed." _Over a_   _loaf of bread_. Ava wanted to shriek.

She couldn't help herself. No one was doing anything! For once in her life, she stepped forward and grabbed the rebel guard's arm, forcing it off the young girl's, "Jesus christ, she's only a kid! And you want to sentence her to death for stealing a stupid loaf of bread?" she laughed, "This isn't some dumb Hugo tragedy." Yeah, she'd done some reading when books had been around her. She'd had the opportunity more than once - which was why she appreciated Anna giving her that book... even if she had already read the tale before.

The rebel guard didn't appreciate her humour, nor did he get the reference. He removed his arm from her grasp, before grabbing Ava by the front of her jacket, "You dare oppose us?"

Ava glared at him, "' _Us_ '? No. You, on the other hand? Yes, yes I d-" her sentence was cut off by him when he smacked her across the face hard, letting her drop to her knees in the mud at her feet. She felt the blood in her mouth and looked up at him, narrowing her eyes. She wanted to say more, but the girl was still standing right there, looking petrified. She didn't want to make this worse for her - or anybody else. There was no sense in pursuing this crap, not with this guy.

"That's your only warning," and he turned and walked away. Maybe she wasn't the person who did nothing after all.

When Ava finally gets to her feet, people are staring. They're trying not to, but they're definitely staring. She sighs, wiping her hands off on her already dirtied jeans. So much for clean clothes. Being the person who does something wasn't really what it was all cracked up to be. Though, she did feel better knowing that girl had been helped - who she noticed was still standing there, also staring at her. She looked around, then at the girl, making a face, "Did I... is something wrong?" Ava didn't know what the hell to say. When was the last time she even interacted with a kid?

The girl played with the small tears along the hem of her shirt, offering Ava a smile, "Thank you." It came out soft, quiet, but it was genuine. Ava was pretty sure she'd never been thanked before, especially by a kid. Actually, when she was younger, she used to terrorize kids. So this was kind of a nice turn around for her. The young girl stuck her hand out and Ava looked down at it, "I'm Claire." 

 

* * *

 

Ava spent the afternoon talking with Claire, getting to know her. She even used what little bargaining chips she had on her to get Claire some bread. They'd brought the food back to her mother, Amelia, who was sick. That's why the girl had been stealing food, it had been for her sick mother. Water was easy to obtain - it wasn't always clean, but it was easy enough for her to get. Ava felt bad for her. So she spent the afternoon with them, helping out however she could. Which involved cleaning some clothes, hanging them to dry, and getting rid of any vines or weeds that were trying to grow inside their small home. It had been a nice experience for her. She just wished there was more she could do, but they had insisted she'd done more than her fair share of work that day.

Claire was thirteen, worked in one of the sewing shops to keep the roof over their heads, and her father...well, he had died a little while back. Claire didn't seem to talk much about it and Ava respected that. Though, she mirrored Claire's loss with her own. "I lost someone recently," she muttered, hanging up some more clothes, "Just recently, actually. It was a mugging. There wasn't much I could do, and it all happened so fast anyway..." she trailed off, thinking about the look on Andy's face before he died. It was like he had finally found that peace he'd been looking for. 

"I'm sorry for your loss," Claire said, folding the dry clothes. There wasn't much to fold, but she tended to it gingerly. They both grew silent for a while, Claire thinking about Ava's loss. She thought about her mother sick on the bed in the other room, unable to move much. The only thing her mother looked forward to, besides listening to how her own day had gone, was the evening visits from Victor. The two had gotten so close, even before her father's death. She had always suspected something was going on between them. But she never wanted to think that way about her mother. She was just grateful someone so kind and devoted was there for her now when she needed it most. Claire was done with the clothes, pushing the basket away from her on the table. She looked over at Ava, watching as she smoothed out the clothes, "That's the fifth time you've done that."

Ava looked at her hands, then the clothesline, then at Claire. "Is it?" she let out an awkward chuckle, "Sorry."

Claire shook her head, "It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. I understand this is awkward, isn't it?" there was a pause, both of them just looking at each other, "You wanted me to open up about my loss after you mentioned yours. I'm just not ready to do that, I'm sorry. I hope you understand," Ava nodded, unable to formulate a proper response. She hadn't actually intended for Claire to respond to her talking about Andy. It had just... she related to losing someone so soon, she thought maybe she could help somehow. Put herself out there. Truthfully, she had no idea what the hell she was doing, "But it's getting late, and the guardsmen will be out on their rounds soon. Do you have your paperwork to be out at night?"

"....You need paperwork to be out at night?"

Claire gave Ava a sympathetic look, "You should leave now and head home. Do you know your way back from here okay?" she started leading Ava towards the door.

"I think so, yeah. I didn't walk that far, I think I can manage."

"Good, don't get lost and avoid the guardsmen at all cost. The night ones are so much worse than the day ones," she glanced over Ava, almost as if to make sure she had no injuries. Ava found it endearing and motherly, something she hadn't experienced in a while, "Just go straight back to your home and you should be fine." Ava nodded and headed out the door, leaving Claire's. If she could remember how to get back here, she would return. It was nice there, and even Claire's mother seemed nice. Though Amelia couldn't do much with her condition. Ava would definitely make sure to return and help them.

The air was dry, but the ground was still wet. She was so cold, pulling her jacket tighter around herself.  _Just go straight back to your home and you should be fine_. Yeah, that was fine and all - except she didn't have a clue where she was going. This was only her second night in this town, how the hell was she supposed to know where the hell to go? She should have asked Claire for directions, or Amelia. She'd ask a sickly person in the alleyway, but what if they're contagious? Now she just felt bad for thinking that way - even if it was a rational way of thinking. She groaned quietly as she walked, hands shoved in the pockets of her jacket.

As Ava was about to come around a corner of a building, she heard a commotion. She stopped, staying in the darkness of the corner and looked onward towards the noise. A woman was screaming as her son was pulled out and laid on his stomach in the street. Guardsmen were doing it, of course they were.  _Fucking rebels_. She thought maybe it was just some type of inspection. Maybe they were holding him to make sure she didn't try and hide anything or do anything. But then she focused her sight more and noticed there were four other people on the road with that little boy. They were all on their stomachs and arms at their sides. They were completely helpless. The woman who was screaming for her son became a problem and was tossed into the mud, a gun pointed at her. 

Ava's eyes widened in horror as a second guardsmen stood over the people laying on the ground, and one by one, started to shoot them through the head. This was a mini massacre, and why? What reason did they have to do this? Her head must have poked out into the moonlight a bit because suddenly the little boy's eyes met with her own. For a brief moment, they shared silence and fear - but then it was taken away and the life left his eyes in the blink of her own eyes. She cupped a hand over her mouth, trying not to cry. What reason did they have to do this to their own people? Just kill some random people? But maybe it was just random to her.

"Thievery will not go unpunished," one of the guardsmen said to the woman in the mud.

 

* * *

  

"It's done."

Meg licked her bottom lip, pleased. This was the best news she'd heard all night. She let out a laugh, a prideful laugh, and collapsed back into her chair. A sigh of relief escaped her lips and she looked over at Tom, holding out her hand toward him, "What would I do without you, dearest brother?" Tom almost made a face, stepping forward. He took Meg's hand in his own, a little confused at the affectionate gesture. He didn't offer her a response, more so focused on her happiness. If she was happy, then he was happy, "What, you have  _nothing_ to add to all of this? It was partially your idea, after all. Give yourself a pat on the back, go have a drink, maybe fuck the help," she nearly snorted at the thought. The last person Tom had slept with that was part of 'the help' was Casey and that had ended disastrously. 

"I think maybe what I'll do is sleep. Like a normal person," Tom's tone was flat, something that wasn't uncommon for him.

Meg whined and let go of his hand, getting to her feet and standing in front of him, pouting, "That's no fun. I want you to drink."

"I don't want to."

"But it would be so much  _fun_."

"I guess I'm no fun."

"You ruin everything, you know that?" she sighed and moved away from him, dropping back down onto the chair. She had no idea how they could possibly be related when they were so very different to begin with. It was such a bother to her. But he provided her with the help she needed, he was useful, and she wouldn't let that go. Besides, she loved her brother. Tom was important to her. He was probably the only important person in her life. Some people wondered if Mark was important to her, the guy she constantly was making time for. But she didn't really know what he was. Mark Campbell was...  _something_. Important wasn't quite the word she would use for him though.

With Meg in her current euphoric state, Tom took this opportunity to leave the room. He headed to his room, closing the door and locking it once he was there. His hands begun to shake, closing his eyes and leaning back against the door. He didn't want to shoot those people. The woman crying out for her son, the way he was looked at for what he did. This isn't what he signed up for. But he could never go against his sister. He knows what she wants, and he knows she'd be good at it. He knows she deserves it. He's not going to try and keep this from Meg. He drops his head back against the door hard, his breathing uneven.

"This is why I keep telling you to leave..." the voice that comes just about scares the shit out of Tom. He lifts his head and looks over, seeing Casey. She's sitting right on the edge of his bed, wearing one of his shirts. Things had never ended disastrously between them. It was a play they'd made to keep Meg away from her and not bug her in case anything ever did sour between them. 

"Casey, you should go," he wasn't in the mood for this.

"Then make me," Casey got to her feet, moving in front Tom. She moved her hands over his, stepping in close, "Make me leave." Tom watched her, feeling her body heat. Seeing those people shot, those  _innocent_ people shot. All he wanted was a distraction from the horrid things his sister was doing. He pulled a hand from Casey's and grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her into a rough kiss. If he couldn't do something about Meg, he'd do this. Casey knew who he was, knew what he did. She'd understand and wouldn't hold it against him. Even as they got out of their clothes and made their way to the bed, Casey knew she was being used. And she was okay with it.


	3. Two Glasses of Scotch

**TWO YEARS AGO** :

It was a party for the guardsmen, something that had been orchestrated by Eve - Meg's go to girl for events like this. Cecily, of course, coordinated everything. Eve was just the one who gave all the ideas and presented what could be. Meg appreciated their efforts, appreciated what they did for the city and it's sectors. Especially because her brother could use a kickback like this right about now. Meg had gone to Anna, and the other city sector leaders, telling them they needed to do something for their staff. This party, or rave, was a way to do it. It would be almost like a bonfire of sorts. They'd do it right in the middle of the city in the empty lot where some hideous monument used to stand. It was the perfect place to do it. Cecily had been the one to select the spot. And after some pulling and pushing, they finally all agreed (except for Anna, who seemed skeptical about the idea of such chaos running amongst the people responsible for looking after the citizens).

Tom wasn't even going to go. It was Casey who had convinced him, telling him to lose the guardsmen uniform and put on something more comfortable. Which to be fair was just a simple pair of plain jeans and a t-shirt, but he looked good in it either way. And after a little bit of searching (and stealing), she found him the perfect leather jacket to go with it. Sure, it was a bit worse for wear, but it looked perfect on him. It completed his "fuck off" attitude, "You really don't look that bad. You look _sexy_ even. So shut the hell up, suck it up, you're coming. I don't even get to go to this thing. So go to it for me, find some hot thing, and maybe screw her for me?"

He frowned, "You want me to sleep with somebody else.  _For you_." 

Casey nodded, "It's not rocket science. We're not exclusive," she stepped closer, fiddling with the front of his shirt, smoothing it out, "I don't want to be exclusive anyway. That sounds awful. For once, I agree with your sister. Go out and cut back, okay?" she looked up at him, placing her hands on his cheeks, "Do you think you could manage that for just  _one_ night? Or do I have to sneak myself into this gig and make you have fun? Which would be boring for me because you aren't my cup of fun."

Tom actually chuckled, "I think I'll manage for a couple hours."

"Good, then it's settled," she moved around him, smacking him on the ass, "Have fun at your little party."

Tom was standing at the fire itself, a drink in hand. There were so many people there and all he wanted to do was leave. Meg and Casey both wanted him here and he just didn't get it. Why were they always so obsessed with setting him up with having  _fun_? He had plenty of fun without actually going out. He just sighed, having a drink of whatever the hell it was he was drinking. Whatever it was, everyone was drinking it and it was getting them fairly drunk, so he was looking forward to that much - if it ever kicked in. Though, standing there and watching the fire was pretty boring and no one was talking to him. He assumed no one was talking to him because he was Tom Masters, Meg's brother. Who would  _want_ to talk to him when it could get them killed by either her, or by him?

He chuckled at the thought, more out of despair than anything. Tom turned to leave the fire, bored with it by now, but accidentally bumped into someone, knocking their drink clean all over the front of their shirt. He froze immediately, embarrassed. The guy he'd dumped his drink on looked down at his shirt, sighing, then chuckled, "Look at what you did, you careless asshole." The guy looked up, noticing who he was, then seemed to stand upright more, "Did I say careless asshole?" there it was, that cocky tone was gone and now he was more concerned with what he said around him, "I meant what an accident. It's no big deal. Don't worry about it. I can clean it!"

Tom just frowned, "I am a careless asshole." He took the empty cup the guy was holding and handed him his own, "Here, I've barely touched it. You can have mine," the guy looked stunned by Tom's kindness, which he immediately noticed, "What? Just take it. I don't even want it. I don't drink."

The guy hesitantly took the drink from Tom, "You  _are_ Tom Masters, right?"

Tom nodded, "Yes," he paused for a second, "And you are?"

The guy went to extend his hand, but accidentally extended the hand with the cup in it. It took him a moment to realize what he'd done before correcting himself, feeling even more like an idiot, "I'm Gavin of Sector D." Tom shook his hand firmly, finding his antics amusing. "I'm sure you have other things to get back to, so," but Gavin, on the other hand, was not used to being so out of sorts around someone. It was probably because it was Tom freaking Masters. He was never that good around people in high powers of authority. But he had heard a lot about this guy.

"I don't, but have a good night," Tom turned away from Gavin and headed away from the fire. Gavin watched as he walked away. He looked down at the drink, thinking about his options. One lead to a good and fun filled night of freedom and blowing off steam, the other option lead to him possibly being killed. Hm. He took option two and downed the drink, quickly following Tom's footsteps.

When they got to a side street where people seemed to be less present on, he stepped up next to him as they walked, quiet. He wasn't sure what to say at first. He was pretty certain he was going to be killed for stalking Meg Masters' brother. That was just something you didn't do. And if Tom killed him, then sure, it'd be violent - but it'd be quick. With Meg? He could only imagine the types of things she'd do to him. And for some reason... he sort of enjoyed the thought. Finally, he broke the silence, "Why'd you leave the party so soon? Were you not having any fun?"

Tom preferred solitude. It wasn't that he wasn't having any fun, he just preferred solitude. He could stand being in the company of his sister, but even that was stretching it. Even with her he needed his time alone - which wasn't always something he got. Sometimes he had to make up reasons just to get away from her, which he always felt guilty for later and would come back to her to make up for what he had done, "I was having fun, I could just be having fun elsewhere that doesn't involve burning good wood and drinking until I'm more than stupid."

Gavin chuckled, "So you're lame."

Tom eyed him, "Pardon?"

Gavin realized what he'd said a moment too late and was about to apologize, but that might make the situation worse, "What I mean is... you have a different idea of fun compared to me." There we go, he'd saved himself. 

Sure, Tom could go with that, "I guess. I don't know."

Their conversation continued on that way. Gavin tiptoeing around what he was saying to Tom, Tom sneering to almost everything little comment Gavin made about his life choices. The two clashed in every which way. Tom kept telling Gavin to go away, but the guy kept following him anyway. He was starting to get on his nerves. And the closer to home he got, to his sector change, the more he wanted to bash in Gavin's head. He knew he could get away with it, knew Meg would cover it up for him. It would be so simple, so bloody, so  _perfect_. But instead, he found himself shoving Gavin up against the nearest hard surface, a building, his head smacking off the wall, "What do you  _want_ , Gavin? Why are you following me around?" 

Gavin grinned, his head spinning a little from the impact of hitting the building, "I'm just walking in the same direction as you," that same cocky tone was back and Tom wanted to rip it right from his throat, "As for what I  _want_?" one of his hands suddenly grabbed Tom's thigh and it took him by surprise. Tom's grip on Gavin tightened and he nearly jerked back to his touch, but he remained where he stood, his breath hitching as he felt that hand travel up, "I think you know what I want, and something tells me you want it too." A hand moves up, grabbing the back of Tom's neck, and pulls him closer gently, enough so that Gavin can speak softly, "So tell me you want it."

Tom presses closer to Gavin's lower hand, trying so hard not to think about his desires - but he caves, " _I want this_."

 

* * *

 

When Tom woke in the morning, Casey was gone. He wasn't surprised, but there was a note on the pillow beside him.  _We should do this again when you're in a better mood_. He smiled, setting the note aside and getting up. He got dressed, pulling on his jacket. He didn't really know why he kept it, but Casey had said it looked good on him. He left his room and headed to the main room, where he knew Meg would already be, chastising someone for something. He swung open the door and stepped inside, seeing her look over at him. She smiled wide, the way she always did when she saw him. It made him feel good inside, made him feel wanted. Though, he was unsure if Meg actually wanted him around sometimes. Her motives for things were so very unclear at times.

"Tommy!" she exclaimed, moving over to him. She grabbed his face with her hands, examining him, "You left so early last night, I was so bummed about it." Yes, he could tell how truly horrible it had made her evening, "But I have  _excellent_ news for you~ All your hard work has paid off. Anna-Banana got the news and from what I've been told? She's having a complete and total meltdown over it. This is  _perfect,_ " she finally let go of his face and kissed his cheek, "And it's all thanks to you!"

If it was so perfect and happy, then why did Tom feel so awful about it? He didn't want to be thanked for murdering five people, one of which was a damn child. He didn't want to ever be thanked for that. He despised killing - but yet, he always did so for Meg when she required it, when she asked for it. What  _wouldn't_ he do for her? He didn't offer a response to anything she said, choosing to simply stand in the room while she moved back over to the desk. It was like being lost in a nightmare, that he lived everyday. He had brief moments where things felt different, like he was capable of something else. But that only came when... and he didn't even know if that would ever last. Meg would probably strip that away from him the way she'd stripped other things away from him in his life. No one would ever be good enough, not when he had Meg in his life. Maybe he wasn't meant for that kind of life, anyway.

Meg turned and hopped up on the desk, crossing one leg over the other as she looked at Tom, "So tell me, what was her name?" Tom glanced at the other people in the room, feeling suddenly awkward. When Meg realized this, she clapped her hands together twice, "Everyone  _clear out_." Everyone was quick to do so, not wanting to piss her off. That was the last thing anyone wanted to do, which made Tom feel bad for them. Once they were all gone though, "I'll ask you again, what was her name?" 

"Whose name?"

Meg almost frowned, but kept the grin on her face, "You dirty, rotten, little boy. You left early last night to go sleep with someone and you aren't even going to tell your sister about it? Come on, we  _always_ tell each other who we've slept with." The fact Meg knew he'd had sex concerned him just a little bit, and made him question how tense he's been recently, "You could at least give me some dirty little details - like, her  _name_? Which isn't even dirty at all. That's just a name."

"I'm not going to give you a name."

"Aw, come on, why not?"

Tom frowned now, "Meg. Stop."

Meg narrowed her eyes, "Are you talking down to me right now?" she slowly pushed herself off the desk. Tom stared at her, standing still, saying nothing. No matter what he said in response to that question, she was still going to get pissed off. But the answer was yes, he was talking down to her. His personal life was none of her business, and he hated her meddling in it all the time. She approached him slowly, her head tilted, "Because if you are?" she got closer, looking directly up at him. Despite their height difference, she could still be very well intimidating. She grabbed the broken belt loops to his jeans, pulling on them gently, "If you  _are_ talking down to me,  _again_ , then I'll just have to go ahead and finally remove that piece of the puzzle that everyone seems to love about you so much. The _only_ thing they seem to love about you."

Tom looked down at Meg when she said that. The only thing? What did she know that he didn't? He didn't argue though, or offer response. It was just easier to be quiet and say nothing. She let go of the broken belt loops, stepping away from him and leaving the room. After she leaves, he lets out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. Why was it so difficult for him with her? Why couldn't he just be honest? Jesus christ, she has just threatened to cut off his dick and he had  _let_ her threaten him. He'd never be able to leave her, he'd never be able to escape this. It would be the same shit on repeat always. That's how it was with them. That's how it always would be.

 

* * *

 

"They killed  _five_ people without  _my_ order! And you call that an  _accident_? One of them was a child!" the man Anna was yelling at cringed, taking a tiny step back from her, "One. of. Them. Was. A. Child!" her inflection was on point. How could this have happened in  _her_ sector? On her watch? How could this have possibly happened? She knew little things, sometimes big things, got by her everyday. But this? This wasn't just big, it was monumental. How was she supposed to address this when she didn't even know who did it? Her own guards pulling people out of their homes and condemning them to death. It made her sick to her stomach. "Get out," she eyed the guardsman in her office, "Just get the hell  _out_!" she grabbed something off her desk and threw it at him. He ducked just in time before it hit him, then quickly turned and made his escape. She turned and leaned against her desk with both hands, letting out a deep sigh. There was no coming back from this. This was going to scare people, Anna knew that.

"Guessing it's not an easy day."

Anna turned around, prepared to yell some more, but stopped when she saw it was Jody. She offered her a small smile, barely managing to pull it off, "Jody... No, it's not." She moved around her desk, sitting down in the chair behind it, "Five people, Jody.  _Five people_. And one of them was a freaking kid. Our people did that," there was so much hurt in her voice as she looked at her, "We're not supposed to be those people. We're supposed to be the new world order. This isn't what we're about. There's too many power hungry people out there. I need to weed them out somehow, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"It's not an easy situation," Jody joined her, sitting on the opposite side of the desk in one of two chairs available. She didn't blame Anna for being so distraught. Saying it wasn't an 'easy situation' was a god damn understatement. She might not like how Anna does things most days, but that doesn't mean she'd go about it and make a statement like this one. Which is exactly what this was. It made her wonder who, on their side, would make such a statement...

Anna reached under her desk and grabbed a bottle, pulling it out and setting it on the desk. Jody looked at it and her eyes widened a bit. Anna had scotch? She was about to ask where she'd gotten it, but Anna beat her to the punch, "It was a gift, from Castiel. He'd managed to find it and trade for it somehow. He'd never tell me exactly what he traded to get it." With the mention of Castiel, that shut Jody up immediately. Anna never talked about him. She watched as Anna poured two half glasses, pushing one over towards Jody, "Lily Baker. She was twenty two," Anna took a sip of the scotch. Jody held onto her glass, watching Anna, "Muriel Barnes. Thirty one." Anna leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes and smelling the glass of scotch. This awful. Not the scotch, but these thoughts, "Lilith.... Lilith.... I don't think I ever got to learn her last name, you know?" she opened her eyes up for a moment to look at Jody, then closed them again.

Watching Anna like this, it worried Jody. She knew the stress of everything would eventually start breaking her, she just didn't think Anna would resort to scotch of all things. Though, she supposed scotch was a whole lot better than violence in response to violence. Especially when she didn't know who did it, "One of them was that teen... Sam, right?"

"Samandriel," Anna corrected. She took another drink from her glass, sighing once more, "Which leaves Lucas Barr. He was only ten years old.  _Ten_. They took a ten year old out into the streets and laid him out, then shot him like he was nothing. Wasted bullets on a child who did nothing wrong. His mother claims they said it was because of thievery - but the punishment for thievery isn't death unless I say so. Which is never, depending on the severity of the theft," she laughs, harder than she should, "And I don't think any amount of theft could get me to say ' _Hey, you, thief. Time to die_.'" 

Jody made a face, slowly sipping at her scotch. She noticed Anna's glass was empty, but there Anna was, filling it up again. She wouldn't leave Anna alone, not while she was like this. She needed someone, and maybe Jody wasn't the best someone, maybe she wasn't Castiel, but she would have to do. Even if Anna didn't open up to her, even if they only talked about the five murdered people. Jody was okay with that. As long as it meant Anna wasn't in here drinking alone, she was okay with it. Though, it sucked for her in a way, because her and Donna had made plans tonight. She felt like crap for ditching on her - but she knew Donna would understand once she explained. She was so grateful to have her in her life.

"This stuff is the kind of stuff the Masters' siblings would do," Anna laughed again, "This isn't the kind of thing I would do." Then she froze, her glass by her lips. She suddenly slammed the glass down, causing Jody to jump, "That's it! That's fucking it! This had nothing to do with the guardsmen at all! It was  _Meg_! Wasn't it? It makes sense, right? She'd do something this sick and sadistic just to get me thrown out of here! She's that messed up!" she got to her feet in all the excitement - but her body slumped forward a bit, "But there's no way I could prove something like that, and the people love her way too much for me to go around pointing fingers."

Jody thought about this for a while in silence as Anna sat back down, downing the rest of her glass, "Maybe we can't go around pointing fingers, but that doesn't mean we can't figure it out for sure and  _then_ point the finger." Anna looked at her curiously, "We just need to send someone in undercover to get some information." Anna grinned at the idea, "We'll just have to be careful."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

 

* * *

 

Ava hadn't left her bed all day, she hadn't eaten either. All she could think about was that little boy's face right before he died. All those people that had been mercilessly killed. For what? For stealing? She curled up more on her bed, hiding under the measly thing one could call a blanket. Her room felt colder than it had before. The walls felt like they were closing in on her. This was an awful place. She wished she had never come here. She wished she had done something different. It would have been so much easier if she hadn't been so careless. She had wanted to die. That's why she had attempted to break in to this place. She had wanted to get caught. She was just too scared to do it herself, to kill herself. Having someone else do it for her would have been so much easier - but then Anna had to go and ruin her plan and  _help_ her. Remind her that kind people still exist. But if people like Anna still exist, then who was the person behind the attack on those citizens? She felt the different voices inside her head combining and it was giving her a migraine. Her hands reached up, grabbing hold of her hair, and pulled on it. 

This was too much all in a couple of weeks. Andy had died, her life had fallen to pieces  _again_ , and now she was stuck living in a city that had more screwed up views than she could handle. She turned her head into the pillow made of clothing, one hand letting go of her hair so she could hug the clothing-pillow. She felt so lost. What would Andy do? That was just it. She didn't know what he would do. Would he leave this place? She didn't have a permit to leave. Hell, she didn't even have a job. How long did she have before she was cast out or killed? And wasn't being killed what she wanted anyway? Everything was so damn confusing. She thought of Claire and her sick mother, Amelia. They are going through hell right now and have been for a while, but they're fighting the battle anyway. Claire was strong for her age. She reminded Ava of herself. If Claire could fight this, then maybe Ava could too. But for now, she was just going to lay here....


End file.
